I am thankful.

I feel like this post has been in the making for awhile, never actually written, but continuously being written and added to in my head by my heart. 


This week is Thanksgiving! I love Thanksgiving, because as a teacher, I get the entire week off. I look forward all fall to this week, where I can catch up on sleep, actually sit and enjoy fellowship with friends, and spend some good time with my family. I also love it because it is an excuse to sit back and reflect and say all the things that we are thankful for. I love seeing all the daily posts on other blogs and Facebook about the things that people are thankful for, from a day off work, to no traffic, all the way to specific family members. I have not posted the things that I am thankful for, because mainly, I am so thankful for my life. I am thankful for God's overwhelming Grace that goes beyond anything I can understand. I am thankful for God's mercies that are new every morning. (Lamentations 3:23) I am thankful for forgiveness, for my wrong doings, but also the forgiveness that God allows me to have towards others that is so freeing to me. I am thankful for Jesus who died and rose from the dead that I, Lauren, would have eternal life with God. 


This year has been full of a lot of firsts for me, and I have struggled greatly with everything. But today, I had the chance to reflect with 2 great women, and I am thankful. Beyond all imaginable, I am thankful for this year. I am thankful for the trials, the tears, the sleepless nights, the anger, the screaming prayers, the pain, and the heartache. "WHY?" you ask, because with that hole - God filled it up abundantly, with the tears- God comforted me and dried my eyes, with no sleep and screaming prayers- God heard my heart the real and true me. He heard the pain and the hurt. I think it was one of the first times since the day I became a Christian 7 years ago, that I was completely honest with God. I was not worried about what He would think or do to me. I didn't care, and because I was angry, I gave God the opportunity to know me. While he already knows me and knows my thoughts, I let down my wall, which brings Joy to the Lord to welcome me with open arms, that I might let Him do the healing in my heart for me. 


Today I know the Lord in a richer, deeper, and more intimate way. I am stronger in my faith. Today I am wiser and more discerning with friendships, dealing with people, dealing with anger and bitterness, and reconciling relationships. I understand true forgiveness for the first time. Today I am more joyful in knowing that through the mess- God is still there and holding me afloat. Today I understand His Grace more than ever. I am humbled. I have a testimony and a new opening to ministering to those whom hurt. 


God loves me SO much, that He was not okay with my contentment. He wanted me to know Him so much more - and I do. I've realized that this will continue to happen my entire life. BUT I must remember that God loves me too much to let me be complacent and stagnate. He wants my life to be full of Joy and zealousness that comes only by knowing Him. 


So today: I choose to be Thankful. 

Pinkalicious!!

I have been the worst blogger ever lately! 
Even though, I have a job, I still babysit for a few families that I have watched since I was in college. The Branch's are one of the funniest families I know. Holly is a mentor to me, loves the Lord, encourages and prays for me, listens so well, and just loves me. Her husband and her have 4 precious kids that I have watched for almost 4 years now! It's funny, because each of her kids has their own VERY different personalities. They are so different in their own sweet way! I got to watch them a few weeks ago and had the most fun ever!

There is a children's book called Pinkalicious, by Victoria and Elizabeth Kann. It is such a fun book for girls! It is about a girl who eats too many pink cupcakes, and turns pink. For the rest, you will have to read it! Well babysitting, we read the book and made pink cupcakes! It was so much fun! The girls loved it and we got to turn a children's book into a fun little story we could act out with our lives! And the cupcakes sure were tasty! (That's for you Angela.) Forgive my poor picture quality! - straight from my phone!

Delicious cupcakes!

This was my tasty treat! 

Labor Day Weekend!

I had the best weekend ever. The Lord blessed me tremendously the day he allowed Anna Sanders and me to meet! Who would know we would become the friends we are today, God knew!

I went to College Station to see Anna before she has baby Avery (this is not the baby's real name, despite my best efforts, I just like to pretend it is since they will not tell anybody the real name.) We went to first yell at A&M, and watched Brian Regan, who was HILARIOUS. I was super tired, but even still laughed so much and enjoyed the evening. Saturday, we put together baby stuff that Anna and gotten, which is fun and just plain adorable. We made dinner and just talked and relaxed. Anna is one of those friends that I do not have to do anything with, I can just enjoy being with her. Sunday, we went to church and her and Stuart met some guys from Denton that just moved to College Station. I love connecting friends together, especially with Stuart and Anna, because they are just wonderful people to know. Sunday afternoon Stuart and I played tennis and Anna cheered, then we watched Psych for hours.

I woke up today to drive back and the weather is fantastic. It has finally cooled down, and I can enjoy sitting outside (which I am sitting on my back porch now as I write!) The Lord was so good to bring us this  beautiful Labor Day to enjoy outside! Driving home today I listened to a few sermons from Sunday's I missed at church, and just thought. I have a lot of thoughts from my drive that I am sure I will share soon, but for now, I am just enjoying the light and joyful feeling that I have gotten to experience all day.

I am thankful for my best friend Anna and her husband Stuart. They love and encourage me so well! I hope that everybody has a friend like this that they can enjoy and love even if it is not very often!

Starting Fresh

This weekend has been a big weekend for me and will continue into the week. 

I've had the summer to be away from school and the busyness of student ministries. It's been really nice and more needed than I ever imagined. I enjoy being busy and having things to do and get done. But this summer- I RELAXED. I mean I was busy- but busy with fun things and meeting with my friends. It was refreshing and so necessary. 

But now it all comes back in fast motion and it is crazy! 

I have wanted a new bed for about a year, and this weekend decided to go and buy a Temperpedic bed. By far one of the most expensive purchases I have ever made, but what an investment in good sleep! So that was delivered yesterday and I slept fabulously! 

Today was promotion Sunday for student ministries. We had all the grades move up and we gained 6th grade, which is an awesome addition. It was funny seeing students from my school who were in 5th grade last year now in student ministries, but I truly love all of the connections and for them to see me at church and school. After taking a break it was nice to come back seemingly fresh and ready for this year.  It is also hard at the same time after this past year, and thinking that these girls that I love and have built such a strong relationship with are going to be graduating this year and will leave. It is such a joyful time and challenging time to think how much things will change. 

BUT boy am I excited about this next year of fun and growth that will occur with my girls and me. I know the Lord has big plans, and I cannot wait to see them. 

Tomorrow is the first day of school. Whew! Normally, I am super excited and anxious. Today, it just feels like another day. Maybe it is because I am not a first year anymore, I don't know. But it just feels different this year. I am excited more than excited that I get to eat lunch with my friends at school. I am blessed to work with teachers who are loving and encouraging all the time. It makes the tough job of teaching more enjoyable! I have about 3 teachers at school whom I am really close with and know me and speak truth to my heart when sometimes my job just seems impossible. I firmly believe that God gifted me and designed me to be a special education teacher, but there are times when I just feel clueless on how to change or fix a behavior or how to teach a student who is struggling.  School is great because I pray A LOT! When I cannot stop a screaming child- I pray for patience, wisdom, and ear plugs. When I need to pee but the end is never in sight- I pray for a distraction! When I am having a hard day - I pray for laughter- and in my classroom- this comes often and unexpectedly! 

Hope everybody has a great back to school time! If you are not in school, I hope you enjoy preparing for my favorite time of year- high school football! 

Genuine Community

God works in some of the most interesting ways. I write that and it has been something I have known and said a hundred times. Everybody knows it too. But tonight, I was given the gracious gift of seeing just what that looks like.

Through pain and trials I have learned a lot. An area that I have been challenged and encouraged in is friendships and community. I have had some amazing friends surround me, love me, speak truth to me, laugh with me, cry with me, dance with me, and shop with me. (that is in the Bible somewhere I know it!) I have also seen the opposite. But one thing that I have been overwhelmed with is the amount of depth and richness in community that I have experienced. I have learned the hearts of more people than I could have ever imagined. I have heard stories of people who are in pain and hurt, or have experienced it in the past. It is incredible the amount of hurt in people that I know, that I did not know about before. God has opened my eyes and ears to see and listen to people. And for this opportunity to be apart of people's lives and share my story- I thank God.

I have also seen the areas of my life and in the church where true, real, genuine, heartfelt community is missing. Where we are fearful of being seen as less than together and perfect, where our conversation is nothing more than small talk, and our hearts are nothing more than longing for love.

This summer my heart has been BURDENED. I think big and I dream big dreams. I realized the need and desire I have for this in every area of my life and in every relationship I have. Tonight, a new friend and me were talking and realized that God has put this burden and desire on both of our hearts. That we both long for this in our ministry. We realized we, her and I, are charged to do something about it and to act. God puts things on our hearts and moves us to pray, and prayer moves us to action. So we are beginning to pray.

The only way that community can happen and reach it's full richness potential is by honesty and openness about our lives, and this includes our struggles. I think the common misperception in the church is that we need to always have our stuff together, we need to be perfect, we need to always say the right things. When in reality believers should love despite circumstances and the openness to admit our imperfections is only encouraged. 2 Corinthians 12: 9 " "My Grace is sufficient for you, My power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast only more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." I don't think this means in every conversation we admit every sin we ever committed or every struggle we have, but I do think it means that we allow others the opportunity to mourn and weep with us in our suffering, I do think it means that we give others the opportunity to bare our burdens and pray for us, and I do think it means being honest and seeking out accountability. Nothing makes my heart my joyful than sharing in joyful times with friends and giving praise and glory to God in sharing all that He does.


How can we foster and encourage genuine community?

Current Encouragements

I am that person that hears a song and LOVES it and then listens to it at least 1000 more times in that same day. My friend from high school hated the song The Reason by Blue October, because there was a time that it was my favorite and she got so tired of it! I am pretty sure my roommates in college hate Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis, because that one topped my charts for a long time. I can't really explain why I love to over indulge in songs, but I really do. Lately I have really enjoyed listening to Phil Wickham and my favorite song is You're Beautiful. God was good to me today, because at Fusion this morning Matt led worship and played it, and my heart was happy. Then tonight at the evening service Jono played and my heart was just over joyed. I was so encouraged!
When we arrive at eternity's shores were death is just a memory and tears are no more. We'll enter in as the wedding bells ring Your Bride will come together and We'll sing You're beautiful.
 You're Beautiful - click here to enjoy and see the lyrics.

I tend to get overly excited about things that I really enjoy or things that hit me hard at a certain time. I decided to dedicate this post to a few of those things.

Book:
I recently just finished Andy Stanley's God of Grace. This book just blew me away. It really challenged me in what I think about God's Grace, and the way I view it, and who deserves it. (HA!) The entire book goes through different people of the bible starting in the Old Testament and finishes in the New Testament. He tells each person's story and shows you areas where God's grace was that we would not normally recognize, nor see how to praise God for the situations that they were faced with. We look at Joseph whose brothers sold him to a man on the road and led their father to believe he died. Talk about a trial, but later we see that Joseph becomes King and shows his brothers nothing but forgiveness and grace. Andy challenges the reader through out the book to look for and recognize God's Grace in our life and to praise God for it.  I loved this book! Couldn't put it down nor did I want to! This is an exert from the introduction:
"To say that someone deserves grace is a contradiction in terms. You can no more deserve grace than you can plan your own surprise party. In the same way that planning voids the idea of surprise, so claiming todeserve voids the idea of grace. You can ask for it. You can plead for it. But the minute you think you deserve it, the it you think you deserve is no longer grace. It is something you have earned.

But grace can’t be earned."

The Grace of God - you can check out a better description or buy it here.

Sermon:
Last weekend I was on my way to McKinney to stay with some family, and I decided to listen to a podcast of Tommy Nelson on a Sunday that I missed. It is finishing Ephesians and it is on the Armor of God. I do not want to try and explain it, but I will say that I listened to it twice just to soak it in. Tommy does an incredible job of encouraging believers to stand firm despite everything and to put on the armor of God to allow us to embrace this hard life.
"There are times, when things happen to you. They are pronouncements that happen that are outside of you, that are bigger than you, and are scary, and make you want to cut and run and punt your faith.... Those are the times where we lay under the shield of Faith and just trust. You just stay there and that fire will fizzle with time." 
Stand Firm : The Christian Warrior - click to listen or watch the video.


Hope this was not too boring for any readers, but these are current things that have grabbed my heart and challenged me in the way I see God and His undeserving Grace on me.

What about you? Is there a song, book, or sermon that has grabbed your flesh and challenged you? If so, please share, that I might be challenged and encouraged too!

It's Family Reunion time again!

Every summer my dad's family has a cousins family reunion. Now this is not my cousins, this is all of my dad's cousins, and 2nd cousins, and at one time you were related so come to the reunion cousins. My dad's family is just big and spread all over and when they were younger always had family reunions. This tradition has continued. Every year we drive out to the middle of nowhere east Texas for a barbeque. (What else?) Every year there is a theme.

Last year we played minute to win it games. Here is a video of my dad. He is a real champion in my heart.

This year it was Texas themed. We did Texas history and trivia. My team was stacked and dominated the trivia games and movie stars from Texas. My team was the red team and we all had to wear red bandanas. I put mine around my head in order to creep my grandmother out and get a good reaction. Which happened. 

Something that is interesting when you go to family reunions, is the lack of enthusiasm, unless your the planner. Nobody is ever just thrilled to go, but you go out of obligation. My heart is never joyful to go. But something changed this year. I wanted to see my family that I see once a year. I talked with my aunt on the way there, and we both realized that we are just so thankful to have a family, and to have a family that wants to get together even if we play silly games. I had lost sight of the reason for family reunions, because I was so focused on me and my time. Thankfully God changes hearts. Thankfully He gave me a family that desires to love one another. 

I love my family. 

This is my brother Bill

This is my cousin Caylin